what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
