Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
