also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
