I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
