He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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