I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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