Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
