Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
