All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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