yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You were trust falling into bushes
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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