I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
A+ Viking dick
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
