Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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