did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
be right there i have to get my cape
Come share oat with me in your robe
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
