Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
