i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
