yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
