Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
