Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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