why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize