I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
