you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
im on a boat
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