i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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