It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
