She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
