Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
