Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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