She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
