I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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