...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
