I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Someone came in the potted fern
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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