so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Found your dick twin last night
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
