Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
