Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So squirting runs in the family.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
