I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
