THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
