He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My breasts were aching with rage.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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