I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
