i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
