Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
