If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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