just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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