i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
