I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
