Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
