Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
