Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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