Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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