walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
