Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
