that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
