I hate all girls vehemently.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
