My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
