Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
