get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
