if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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