gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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