Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
