Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
