Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
