I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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